Ok not only is there zero judgment, there is in fact so much inspiration! The ways you share of yourself open up new worlds for the rest of us, and I'm personally so grateful ♥️♥️
I love this for you sooooo much. Also, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, I would be happy to keep paying the monthly membership during months you aren't publishing any letters. That's how paid vacation works when you're salaried, and your labor isn't worth any less. Of course you should do whatever feels right to you, so this is just a perspective in case it hadn't been voiced yet.
It was really helpful for me to be able to take that paid vacation approach back in July when I was on the Long Trail (not publishing for a few consecutive weeks but not pausing payments), and I agree on the need to normalize that option in less traditional employment situations. I will definitely do that again in the future!
I think for me, specifically with this gap year, what I want from the months when payments are paused is the psychological and emotional experience of feeling like I've *fully* closed down my business, pivoted away from work entirely, and shut any/all open doors of being "Nic Antoinette, Person on the Internet," if that makes sense? And for some reason I don't feel like I could achieve that if I didn't pause things.
Something I love about growing older (and doing a lot of internal work) is that I have much less judgment about what people do with their lives, even when I don’t understand their decisions. Which is frankly not the case here. It makes total sense to me and I’m looking forward to hearing about how you experience your gap year.
Here is what I’m curious about:
Are you hearing some judgment or confusion about your decision from your social circle?
You didn’t mention any travel plans. Are choosing not to travel at all (internationally or within the US)? Or is it part of the “not planning anything yet” and you’ll see later if you want to travel a little?
You had mentioned a camper on the divestment post. Do you want to share an update on that?
"Something I love about growing older (and doing a lot of internal work) is that I have much less judgment about what people do with their lives, even when I don’t understand their decisions." This!!
As for your questions:
1. Not at all, and I genuinely feel really supported by my people. I've gotten various reactions of envy/jealousy though (which I totally understand), and I think I'm just feeling super sensitive to not wanting my circumstances and decisions to make other people feel bad somehow? Even though I also know that it's not my job to manage other people's emotions, but... yeah.
2. I'd say it's definitely part of the not wanting to make plans yet, and also related to what I wrote about in early September re: my changing feelings on air travel (and long-distance travel more generally). I do know that I want to do 1-2 big hikes though, and that my favorite hiking environment is out west, so that would definitely include some kind of travel. We'll see!
3. It's so cute! And currently parked in the little wooded area behind my house. I still need to do the final set-up things (water tanks, running an electrical line out there, getting the propane tanks hooked up) and I also want Gent to help me build a deck for it (gap year project for sure!), but after that it will be ready for friends to visit and for fellow writers/artists who want a free space for a week of creative retreating. I'm not sure yet how exactly I'll manage that aspect of my vision, but I trust that it'll come :)
It’s great knowing our job is not to manage other people’s feelings but feeling it in my body is a WORK IN PROGRESS for sure.
The air travel thing is a big concern for sure. Train travel is one of the thing I miss most about living in Europe. It’s not perfect but it is better and it’s one of the things that make me question whether I want to move back there. Even though I don’t know how I’d adapt. Mental health has been so much better since moving here. Definitely one of my Big Questions.
Yessss I'm so excited to follow along with you as you prep and embark on your gap year! Your list of dreams is so dreamy! ✨️ I'm also going to be using these prompts in my own journaling, so thank you for the inspiration haha
I absolutely love how you live your life with so much integrity and such intentionality, and I love how you experiment with life. The adult gap year sounds absolutely wonderful and I'm super excited for you.
I walked away from my high tech corporate job over two years ago and in the very beginning I wondered if I would feel weird about not having an impressive job or a fancy title, which was my version of "who am I without work". Turns out, I'm actually a much calmer/happier person without my high stress job! Who knew!!! 🤷🏻♀️😂
Love this!! Very excited for you to allow yourself to take a gap year after all this time desiring it :)
I’m from Switzerland and I did do a gap year when I was 19 (to be fair it was half a year of working to pay for the travel and then half a year of travelling. I was living with my parents so I could save all the money from my job instead of having to pay normal adult expenses AKA food rent and health insurance 🙃). Only possible with class privilege that’s for sure!
I guess then your hesitation about going to Italy landed to not go. I am feeling disappointed in your behalf which is so weird as we don’t know each other! I think my own feelings about air travel (and the guilt that I feel about still enjoying it) are showing up. I need to examine this further :) thanks for prompting the discussion!!
Aw I really do appreciate your vicarious disappointment. Thanks for feeling that with me, Gwen :)
For now I've decided no on Italy, but that doesn't mean it's a no forever. If I were to take that trip I'd also want to spend a good amount of time back in the UK, like maybe be over in that part of the world for 3-4 months since it would likely be my last time there, and being gone for that long next year doesn't feel like a good match for my other goals (ie hyperlocal life building). I also think it would be easier to take a trip of that length when my dogs are older — like to find someone to watch them, I mean. They are young right now and it's... a lot lol.
I’m so excited/curious/eager for your gap year updates. I’m sixty and have never taken a gap year and never desired it—AND I’m cheering you on!! What I most appreciate about you is your willingness to try the thing holding all your fears in your heart. Your kind of intentional living hugely inspires me!
I did this last year! I called it my “mid-life retirement year”! It was amazing. I, too, struggled with what people would think, would I get bored?, finances, etc. But the burnout was so strong and my need for nothingness and freedom from responsibilities was so strong, I just did it. I quit an 18 year career with a 6 month notice (way too long, but I was trying to be nice lol) and then I stopped working. I also took out my retirement from my 401k to help fund my time off, which did give me anxiety at the beginning, but it was 150% worth it! I focused on me, myself and I 🫶🏻 Which I had not done…. Maybe ever? Many days I did nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Boredom never came. What did come was me returning to myself. What did come was my mental health improvement. What did come was… calmness. Slowness. & Joy.
Now, I am burn out recovered 🎉 (mostly) & I started a new career! (I had only ever worked at 1 place! But guess what? I have skills and people like me other places too! Who knew?? Not me! lol but now I do! What a confidence boost ☺️)
I am so happy you are doing this for yourself! I love the way you share and I am here to stay to support you fully!
Thanks, Katie! Before I made the stock market divestment decision that freed up the money for this I was starting to think about maybe doing a gap quarter (3 months off) or something more accessible. I realized I kept getting stuck in the all-or-nothing thinking of "it must be a whole year OR NOTHING" lol
I love all of this so so so much. It takes a lot of bravery to do what you are doing! The “shoulds” of our work/economic worlds are so strong, it takes real intentionality to move against them. A little over a year ago I “downshifted” my life. I left a beautiful, but pricey, little city in the northeast for small town Vermont. I sold a condo, and shut down parts of my small business. My goal was (IS STILL!) to work less, simplify costs of living, downsize what I own, do more yoga, complete a Yoga teacher training, write, travel some. Most of these things I’ve done/or are on the books for this coming year. And, I have rested… a lot. A lot a lot. Something my body and spirit have needed so badly. It has felt beautiful to answer the call to simplify my life. Working less (I do about 12-20 hours a week) has been wonderful. Having less money has made me get clear about priorities. Can’t wait to read about what this year brings for you! And you’ve inspired me to write about my last year of changes. So thank you!!
This resonates with me so much, especially the downshifting part as that's something I've been thinking about more and more over the past few years. Thanks for sharing!
so inspired by you and the intentionality with which you live your life!
Aw, thanks for this, Annie!
Love this so much! I also think that while a gap year 16 years ago would have been *fun*, now it will be fun *and* fulfilling.
Could not agree more. 16 years ago I would have just been... drunk? lol
God knows I would've been.
I am super curious to see how your gap year goes. And I think even more curious to see who you are and what you choose to do at the end of it.
Me too!
This is so wonderful - I love it, I love it, I love it, I want it, and I want it to be normalized for everyone!
Ugh yes I want it for everyone tooooo!
Ok not only is there zero judgment, there is in fact so much inspiration! The ways you share of yourself open up new worlds for the rest of us, and I'm personally so grateful ♥️♥️
That is a truly kind & generous thing to say. Thanks, Dominique 💜
I love this for you sooooo much. Also, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, I would be happy to keep paying the monthly membership during months you aren't publishing any letters. That's how paid vacation works when you're salaried, and your labor isn't worth any less. Of course you should do whatever feels right to you, so this is just a perspective in case it hadn't been voiced yet.
I appreciate this so much, Alice. Thank you!
It was really helpful for me to be able to take that paid vacation approach back in July when I was on the Long Trail (not publishing for a few consecutive weeks but not pausing payments), and I agree on the need to normalize that option in less traditional employment situations. I will definitely do that again in the future!
I think for me, specifically with this gap year, what I want from the months when payments are paused is the psychological and emotional experience of feeling like I've *fully* closed down my business, pivoted away from work entirely, and shut any/all open doors of being "Nic Antoinette, Person on the Internet," if that makes sense? And for some reason I don't feel like I could achieve that if I didn't pause things.
Something I love about growing older (and doing a lot of internal work) is that I have much less judgment about what people do with their lives, even when I don’t understand their decisions. Which is frankly not the case here. It makes total sense to me and I’m looking forward to hearing about how you experience your gap year.
Here is what I’m curious about:
Are you hearing some judgment or confusion about your decision from your social circle?
You didn’t mention any travel plans. Are choosing not to travel at all (internationally or within the US)? Or is it part of the “not planning anything yet” and you’ll see later if you want to travel a little?
You had mentioned a camper on the divestment post. Do you want to share an update on that?
"Something I love about growing older (and doing a lot of internal work) is that I have much less judgment about what people do with their lives, even when I don’t understand their decisions." This!!
As for your questions:
1. Not at all, and I genuinely feel really supported by my people. I've gotten various reactions of envy/jealousy though (which I totally understand), and I think I'm just feeling super sensitive to not wanting my circumstances and decisions to make other people feel bad somehow? Even though I also know that it's not my job to manage other people's emotions, but... yeah.
2. I'd say it's definitely part of the not wanting to make plans yet, and also related to what I wrote about in early September re: my changing feelings on air travel (and long-distance travel more generally). I do know that I want to do 1-2 big hikes though, and that my favorite hiking environment is out west, so that would definitely include some kind of travel. We'll see!
3. It's so cute! And currently parked in the little wooded area behind my house. I still need to do the final set-up things (water tanks, running an electrical line out there, getting the propane tanks hooked up) and I also want Gent to help me build a deck for it (gap year project for sure!), but after that it will be ready for friends to visit and for fellow writers/artists who want a free space for a week of creative retreating. I'm not sure yet how exactly I'll manage that aspect of my vision, but I trust that it'll come :)
It’s great knowing our job is not to manage other people’s feelings but feeling it in my body is a WORK IN PROGRESS for sure.
The air travel thing is a big concern for sure. Train travel is one of the thing I miss most about living in Europe. It’s not perfect but it is better and it’s one of the things that make me question whether I want to move back there. Even though I don’t know how I’d adapt. Mental health has been so much better since moving here. Definitely one of my Big Questions.
The camper sounds so cozy!
So many Big Questions and honestly no Correct Answers, I feel!
Yessss I'm so excited to follow along with you as you prep and embark on your gap year! Your list of dreams is so dreamy! ✨️ I'm also going to be using these prompts in my own journaling, so thank you for the inspiration haha
Ha you are so welcome :)
I absolutely love how you live your life with so much integrity and such intentionality, and I love how you experiment with life. The adult gap year sounds absolutely wonderful and I'm super excited for you.
I walked away from my high tech corporate job over two years ago and in the very beginning I wondered if I would feel weird about not having an impressive job or a fancy title, which was my version of "who am I without work". Turns out, I'm actually a much calmer/happier person without my high stress job! Who knew!!! 🤷🏻♀️😂
Hahaha who knew!! Love that for you :)
Love this!! Very excited for you to allow yourself to take a gap year after all this time desiring it :)
I’m from Switzerland and I did do a gap year when I was 19 (to be fair it was half a year of working to pay for the travel and then half a year of travelling. I was living with my parents so I could save all the money from my job instead of having to pay normal adult expenses AKA food rent and health insurance 🙃). Only possible with class privilege that’s for sure!
I guess then your hesitation about going to Italy landed to not go. I am feeling disappointed in your behalf which is so weird as we don’t know each other! I think my own feelings about air travel (and the guilt that I feel about still enjoying it) are showing up. I need to examine this further :) thanks for prompting the discussion!!
Aw I really do appreciate your vicarious disappointment. Thanks for feeling that with me, Gwen :)
For now I've decided no on Italy, but that doesn't mean it's a no forever. If I were to take that trip I'd also want to spend a good amount of time back in the UK, like maybe be over in that part of the world for 3-4 months since it would likely be my last time there, and being gone for that long next year doesn't feel like a good match for my other goals (ie hyperlocal life building). I also think it would be easier to take a trip of that length when my dogs are older — like to find someone to watch them, I mean. They are young right now and it's... a lot lol.
I’m so excited/curious/eager for your gap year updates. I’m sixty and have never taken a gap year and never desired it—AND I’m cheering you on!! What I most appreciate about you is your willingness to try the thing holding all your fears in your heart. Your kind of intentional living hugely inspires me!
Thank you for the cheerleading, Uma!!
I was going to ask about the RTB podcast and I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO DO IT!!!!! It’s my favorite thing to listen to 💕
Aw! I'm so glad! I'll share that with Julia too :)
I did this last year! I called it my “mid-life retirement year”! It was amazing. I, too, struggled with what people would think, would I get bored?, finances, etc. But the burnout was so strong and my need for nothingness and freedom from responsibilities was so strong, I just did it. I quit an 18 year career with a 6 month notice (way too long, but I was trying to be nice lol) and then I stopped working. I also took out my retirement from my 401k to help fund my time off, which did give me anxiety at the beginning, but it was 150% worth it! I focused on me, myself and I 🫶🏻 Which I had not done…. Maybe ever? Many days I did nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Boredom never came. What did come was me returning to myself. What did come was my mental health improvement. What did come was… calmness. Slowness. & Joy.
Now, I am burn out recovered 🎉 (mostly) & I started a new career! (I had only ever worked at 1 place! But guess what? I have skills and people like me other places too! Who knew?? Not me! lol but now I do! What a confidence boost ☺️)
I am so happy you are doing this for yourself! I love the way you share and I am here to stay to support you fully!
I love literally every single thing about this. Thank you for sharing, Alexis!!
How exciting!! What you are doing is so inspiring to me - I’d love to save for/daydream about/plan a gap year for myself someday!
Thanks, Katie! Before I made the stock market divestment decision that freed up the money for this I was starting to think about maybe doing a gap quarter (3 months off) or something more accessible. I realized I kept getting stuck in the all-or-nothing thinking of "it must be a whole year OR NOTHING" lol
Soooooo excited for you!
Thanks, Kelsey! 😍
I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!!
Hehe thanks Dani! I am so excited for me TOO!
I love all of this so so so much. It takes a lot of bravery to do what you are doing! The “shoulds” of our work/economic worlds are so strong, it takes real intentionality to move against them. A little over a year ago I “downshifted” my life. I left a beautiful, but pricey, little city in the northeast for small town Vermont. I sold a condo, and shut down parts of my small business. My goal was (IS STILL!) to work less, simplify costs of living, downsize what I own, do more yoga, complete a Yoga teacher training, write, travel some. Most of these things I’ve done/or are on the books for this coming year. And, I have rested… a lot. A lot a lot. Something my body and spirit have needed so badly. It has felt beautiful to answer the call to simplify my life. Working less (I do about 12-20 hours a week) has been wonderful. Having less money has made me get clear about priorities. Can’t wait to read about what this year brings for you! And you’ve inspired me to write about my last year of changes. So thank you!!
This resonates with me so much, especially the downshifting part as that's something I've been thinking about more and more over the past few years. Thanks for sharing!