Lowering the stakes
this doesn't have to be your "best year ever"
Wild Letters is a newsletter about self-exploration and building a right-fit life.
Thank you for being here with me!
My dear reader.
I am now six days into my long-awaited gap year, and contrary to some of my more outlandish pre-sabbatical fantasies I do not yet have anything major to report.
I didn’t wake up on January 1 to a chorus of singing angels welcoming me to the bliss of a new life. I’m not suddenly a different (read: better) person. I haven’t found an immediate and magical inner peace just because the majority of my business is closed for the year.
And of course, right? Obviously. Yet because these past six days and the start of my sabbatical included a flip of the calendar (and all the accompanying rhetoric about goals, resolutions, and “the 10 secrets to making this your best year ever!!”) I’ll admit that I got swept up in the dreamy chaos of it all for a minute there. Who amongst us isn’t an occasional sucker for a bright and shiny mythical transformation montage?
But the truth is that we don’t need it — that mythical “big change” moment, I mean. And the more I can let go of the belief that any one particular Monday/first of the month/new-year’s-fresh-start will save me, the more human and awake I can continue to be in my actual, real, right now life.
2025 doesn’t need to be my best year ever, is what I’m saying. That kind of pressure doesn’t work for me, because how can I possibly live up to those expectations? The best year ever? The best year ever? No.
What if I just try to have a mediocre lovely time?
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is how the values and norms of capitalism are woven into every aspect of my life and mind.
It’s never enough for me to have a nice weekend, a fun afternoon, a cute little date with my partner. Instead my first thought is almost always “how do I get the absolute most out of this trip/class/experience?” — a question that of course has extraction built right in.